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Old Farmer Ted is a fun story to celebrate Harvest with either a Church congregation or a school assembly. Simply divide up your congregation or school into eight groups and then allocate a “trigger” word to each group. The eight trigger words are: cows, wind, sun, pigs, chickens, sheep, rain, crops. Explain to each group that they must listen very carefully for each mention of their trigger word - and then instantly react to that word whenever they hear it, regardless of whatever else is happening. For example, the group called “sun” should jump up and shout “sizzle, sizzle, sizzle!” Or the group called “pigs” should jump up and shout “oink, oink, oink!” The choice of actions is up to you, but be larger than life and as outrageous as you dare!


(A Harvest Story, with Audience Participation)

Now, this is the tale of Old Farmer Ted,
Who put all his cows in his brand new shed,
And then took a walk all around his Farm
To make sure his animals were safe from harm.

"I'm a very lucky man," Farmer Ted exclaimed,
"To have such a harvest and my barn full of grain.
I'm lucky that the wind still blows in the trees,
I'm lucky that the sun will never let me freeze.
I'm lucky that my pigs are happy in their sty.
I'm lucky that my chickens fill the yard, close by.
I'm lucky to have sheep, and I'm lucky to have rain,
And I'm lucky with my crops time and time again.

"I'm blessed if I know how it comes to be,"
Said old Farmer Ted, smiling merrily.
"As God is my witness, I don't know
Just how one makes the wind blow so.
And if I live to be one hundred and one,
I'll never understand how to switch on a sun.
And I tend all my sheep, and I tend all my cows,
And they all belong to me, but I don't know how!
And look at all my crops, and all my stores of grain,
Who tells them to grow when it starts to rain?
And I'm blessed if I know just how the Dickens
Anyone invented all them noisy chickens!
And, when all is said and done, who else would give a fig
For a fat, funny animal that looks like a pig?

"God knows how it all comes to be
Handed on a plate to a bloke like me."

Then, all of a sudden, old Farmer Ted
Had a very clever thought right inside his head,
And he fell on his knees, for suddenly he knew,
And he cried out, "God, then it must be you!


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