I Am Going to Die

I Am Going to Die
Psalm 39

I didn’t think much about dying until my grandson was born, and then the thought came to me that I could die now; I had done my job for the human race’s future by fathering a son who had himself fathered a son. I thought about it again three or four years later when I reached sixty—somehow reaching that age brought home my mortality. I thought about it some more another three or four years later when I reached the age my father had been when he died; I was relieved to get past that marker. I thought about it again another three or four years later when I agreed to write the Old Testament for Everyone series: I would look stupid if I made that commitment and then went and died. I thought about it again when my first wife died, for she was totally disabled, and I had always been a bit apprehensive about dying before her because my dying would raise tricky questions about what would happen to her. And then I thought about it again when I met my second wife, who would prefer me not to die too soon. I now have renewed enthusiasm for living to a ripe and irresponsible old age...