32. The key to getting help

ONE DAY AT A TIME
Meditations for Carers
 
32. The key to getting help

James 4.2b, GNB

When I was young, clamouring for something that took my fancy, my grandmother used to say: ‘Wants never gets.’ That effectively silenced those demands! In our situation as carers, though, I think we need to change it to, ‘If you don’t ask, you won’t get!’

I had an example this morning – an email from someone thanking me for letting him know my husband had moved into a care home for a few weeks. ‘Say hello to him for me,’ he finished. I was outraged. Surely the least he could do was go and visit him and say hello for himself! I confess I rewrote my reply several times, toning it down until it was fit to send. In the end I simply asked him to visit if he could manage it, leaving the request open and without barbs.

We have to bury both our shrinking violet and our self-sufficient selves. What we’re asking for is not a favour for ourselves. It’s needed help for our loved ones. So, don’t wait for offers – you may wait for ever. You need to be specific, clear and determined...


Taken from One Day at a Time: Meditations for Carers by Dorothy M.Stewart