32. The key to getting help
Taken from One Day at a Time: Meditations for Carers
contributor: SPCK - Dorothy M Stewart
Description
ONE DAY AT A TIME
Meditations for Carers
32. The key to getting help
James 4.2b, GNB
When I was young, clamouring for something that took my fancy, my grandmother used to say: ‘Wants never gets.’ That effectively silenced those demands! In our situation as carers, though, I think we need to change it to, ‘If you don’t ask, you won’t get!’
I had an example this morning – an email from someone thanking me for letting him know my husband had moved into a care home for a few weeks. ‘Say hello to him for me,’ he finished. I was outraged. Surely the least he could do was go and visit him and say hello for himself! I confess I rewrote my reply several times, toning it down until it was fit to send. In the end I simply asked him to visit if he could manage it, leaving the request open and without barbs.
We have to bury both our shrinking violet and our self-sufficient selves. What we’re asking for is not a favour for ourselves. It’s needed help for our loved ones. So, don’t wait for offers – you may wait for ever. You need to be specific, clear and determined...
Taken from One Day at a Time: Meditations for Carers by Dorothy M.Stewart
Meditations for Carers
32. The key to getting help
James 4.2b, GNB
When I was young, clamouring for something that took my fancy, my grandmother used to say: ‘Wants never gets.’ That effectively silenced those demands! In our situation as carers, though, I think we need to change it to, ‘If you don’t ask, you won’t get!’
I had an example this morning – an email from someone thanking me for letting him know my husband had moved into a care home for a few weeks. ‘Say hello to him for me,’ he finished. I was outraged. Surely the least he could do was go and visit him and say hello for himself! I confess I rewrote my reply several times, toning it down until it was fit to send. In the end I simply asked him to visit if he could manage it, leaving the request open and without barbs.
We have to bury both our shrinking violet and our self-sufficient selves. What we’re asking for is not a favour for ourselves. It’s needed help for our loved ones. So, don’t wait for offers – you may wait for ever. You need to be specific, clear and determined...
Taken from One Day at a Time: Meditations for Carers by Dorothy M.Stewart
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